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Sep. 24th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

My mother is so fucking irritating. Holy shit.

It's just stupid, petty stuff. But it makes me so mad. So many stupid fucking questions. I can't even.

Aug. 5th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

brb, dedicating my life to Harry Potter.


PS. I couldn't stand it anymore and I am downloading a (pretty good, tbh) cam version of The Deathly Hallows part 2. Later this evening, I plan on watching it in the privacy of my room and sobbing loudly, since I couldn't in the cinema.

Also, I applied to Cucina Moderna in the mall because that place is 100% fucking sweet and I want to own literally every fucking piece of kitchenware in the entire store. If I get a job there, I will buy so many things with my discount and I will be the happiest person in the world. But not really, because I've decided that I am hardly capable of happiness.

Good night.
eazy e

(no subject)

I am surely destined to live alone for eternity.

I think I'm okay with that.

Jun. 12th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

I would like to eat 1000000 french fries.

I'm going to Newfoundland on Friday and I'm excited. I'm scared that I'll die on the plane, though.

I hope I like it enough to move there and start my life over.

That is all.

May. 7th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

I just wrote a bunch of shit and then realized it was stupid and that no one, including myself, particularly cares.

I've said forever that I don't believe in fate, but sometimes I do, in a fleeting glimmer of hope. I guess it's more like, I like to pretend that if it were to exist, I would take miniscule happenings and apply them to a much, much larger picture of what would be my future, and then I wish them so hard.
If I had to keep score of all of the times that an instance like that has worked out in my favor, I would have zero.

Apr. 23rd, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

As retarded as it sounds, when I think about Belfast, I feel the same kind of heartache you get after a bad breakup, or even if you just have a crush or whatever.
I guess it's just that longing feeling, for something that seems to unattainable.
I miss it so much. I don't know what I'll do if I can't go next year. I wish I could just go and stay there.

Apr. 6th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

I am 9000% stoked to move in with my parents. I'm excited about pretty much everything except:
Not being able to walk out the door and just go anywhere.
Having to get drives into work all the time, which is basically just me feeling guilty.
And not being able to walk around in basically underwear in the summer. But, there's a hot tub, so who even cares?

I booked like 4 hours with Monty from Monsters Ink in Alberta while he's here for the Maritime Tattoo festival, and I'm so fucking stoked. This tattoo is going to be eternal lulz, and depending on placement, it will be an eternal don't-get-fat motivator.

Well, it's spring time now and I want my legs to be free, so I am going to shave them and exfoliate the shit out of them, and slap self tanner all over them and maybe I'll feel more attractive.

I think if the military doesn't work out for me, I will upgrade my school marks and try to be some kind of chef. Any kind. Hell, I'll even be a saucier. I feel like the more and more I wait for the military to contact me, the more and more I hope it doesn't. I think it's because when I applied, I was so pumped (and full of anger) that I wanted to just jump in and fucking go. But now I'm thinking about all of the things I could maybe do instead, and I wonder if that is what I should do.

I guess I should just stop questioning it and accept that everything happens for a reason, and only time will tell.

Peace, hoes.

Mar. 24th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

Now that this is rented and the military has still not responded to my application, the impending doom seems to be getting closer.

I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. I sure didn't expect this shit show when I moved in here a year ago. And I didn't expect that, were something to go wrong, that I would be sitting here looking at overpriced one bedrooms on Kijiji while sobbing. My life has become a complete mess in a matter of weeks. And it is out of my control.

I just want to get accepted to the military and leave this place and forget about everything. Thinking about everything is nauseating. It's sickening for me to watch this happen.

I'm not even going to write anymore because it's a fucking waste of my time, because no one gives a shit about any opinions that I have.

Mar. 7th, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

This is the end.

Feb. 21st, 2011

eazy e

(no subject)

After being sick and going to my parents house for a few days, I have realized that I am probably the unhappiest I've ever been in life.

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